Busy Days

I find that I have to really make a better effort to do all the things I need/want to do these days. I have a problem saying "no" to anything. I have to remind myself often that I am NOT Wonder Woman, and therefore there is no humanly possible way I'm going to get everything accomplished like I might hope. This is not an easy thing to admit, but I'm hoping that by writing it in my blog, I might read back on it from time to time as a reminder to myself.

The kids are my first and central priority, and always will be no matter what else I take on. They are such a joy to be around, even when they do their best to drive me batty, and I can't imagine what my life was like before them anymore.

Megan and Jeremy are basically on the same level for most things, but Megan's increasing her vocabulary by leaps and bounds these days (Jeremy is doing fine, just doesn't have the sense of urgency Megan has when it comes to learning new words). Today, when I put their PB&J sandwiches and banana slices in front of them for lunch, Jeremy said, "Thank you, Mommy!" and when I asked him if it looked good, he took a big bite and said, "Mmmmm..."...meanwhile, Megan is sitting calmly in her chair, takes a dainty bite of a banana and says (I kid you NOT), "Yes, Mommy, this is delicious!" I nearly fell over. It's not that I'm shocked that she's learned how to say a word like delicious, it's the fact that her timing and intonation were just perfect with using the word.

I know that sometimes I have doubts about my parenting skills...I don't know many parents who don't feel this way sometimes. Especially during the temper tantrum fits that they just LOVE to throw (especially in public, when most of the time they are perfect angels...it's like they wait until a big crowd is around and then they just opt to turn into wailing, screaming shells of their former selves). But I always feel a sense of security when one of them comes running to me, without being asked, and tells me that I must give a hug or a kiss. Jeremy climbed up next to me on the couch yesterday, held out his arms and gave me a big smacker on my cheek when I thought all he wanted was a hug...then he got down and went right back to the toy cars he had been playing with. This makes me feel so good, because I know I've done at least that much right. They are in a loving home and are learning that showing affection is not only a good thing, but a wonderful thing. I think a lot of it is just part of their nature, since there are always going to be kids who like cuddling more than others, but I like to try to take just a little bit of credit for that. One of the biggest challenges most twin moms discuss is the fact that when you're trying to care for two infants, you always fear that you're not giving them enough physical contact, enough hugs and cuddles and kisses and attention. Making sure two babies have clean diapers, full tummies, and good amounts of sleep...well, that basically takes enough out of you so that the "extras" like cuddling for hours and just holding them is more of a luxury. Steve and I were really lucky that we had as much time to offer for that as possible, but deep down I worried it wasn't enough. Now that I see both of them are so loving and open to signs of affection, I don't worry anymore. At least, not about that stuff! There are plenty of other worries that come along with raising kids these days. :)

Well, I'm thinking that I should close here and get some shut-eye before I keep rambling incessantly. Next time I'll try to blog with a little more focus, so I can make sense of whatever I write about!

"Back" In Action!

I saw the specialist back in March, and this past Friday was my follow-up appointment. He had given me three options at my first appointment with him...1) have the surgery. It would have meant immediate pain relief, but there was an increased possibility the injury would recur. 2) get epidural pain blocks, which would help with the pain for a week or two at a time while I waited for my back to heal on its own. 3) just wait it out, staying on the pain meds that make me feel yucky. Apparently this type of back injury is fairly common, and 90% of them heal on their own with no surgical intervention...thank goodness!

So at my appointment on Friday, the doctor basically told me that according to my remaining symptoms and the walking test he gave me, I'm on the mend. Not 100% yet, but that might take a few more weeks or a month still. I am relieved, because if I had gone through three extra weeks of pain and then needed surgery, I would have been very disappointed. The pain meds made me feel so muddy that I finally just stopped taking them about a week and a half ago...they weren't actually "helping" me heal, especially since they made my head foggy. And the pain was minimal compared to what I had gone through just a month ago.

I am going to continue to be careful, since the last thing I want is to put my back out again anytime soon. For example, I'm learning to just let the kids climb into their carseats instead of lifting them in all the time (which is a much quicker and more efficient way, but I need to let go of that!). It's sometimes difficult to look at them and not think of them as still being "babies," since to me that's what they'll always be. I am so glad I'm a photography nut and that I have hundreds (if not thousands) of photos of them from birth til now. That way I can always look back and remember all those "little" moments. :)

Well, time to get lunch made and get some cleaning done around the house. Time flies, especially on a Monday when there's so much to do and no motivation to get it all done!

Severe Back Pain + Two-Year-Old Twins = No Fun

My back pain has gotten progressively worse...I've never had a great back, but this particular case has been going on for three weeks now. I've been seeing an urgent care physician for the time being, hoping that anti-inflammatory medicine would bring down the problem and ease the pain from what we thought was just regular ol' sciatica. Wrong! The doctor was concerned about the fact that pain was radiating from my back and shooting down my left leg, so he recommended an MRI. I had that MRI today, and went home afterward thinking I'd hear something from my doctor in about 24 hours, since that was the "normal" window of response according to the MRI tech who did the scan.

Wrong! Apparently, when you have a REAL problem, they really do call you as soon as possible. The report from the scan was forwarded to my doctor almost immediately, and his nurse called me less than two hours after I had finished my scan. Nothing like a quick response to just set you off. I've known her for more than a few years, since she used to work for a doctor's office located in the hospital where I used to work, and she's very good to me. She doesn't believe in wasting time on fluff, and she prefers to get straight to the point when it comes to relaying information, and I am SO grateful to her for that.

Anyway, the MRI showed several things happening. First, typical wear and tear that everyone gets. No surprise there. Next, I have a protrusion a little higher up from my sciatic nerve. I have to get more details, but that doesn't seem to be causing too much trouble at the moment. The main culprit is an "extruding fragmented disc" that is currently pressing on my S1 nerve root (sciatic nerve). I guess all you have to do to get me worried is tell me that there's something fragmented in my back. That just doesn't sound very promising.

The doctor is referring me out to an orthopaedic specialist, someone who has experience with spinal issues. Whenever I can get in to see this specialist, he or she will discuss my options. I'm not keen on the idea of surgery, which is what a friend of mine went through for a similar problem last year, but if nothing else will work I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'm holding out hope that something non-surgical will be an option for me, something like Physical Therapy or some epidural nerve blocks, or anything that involves relieving pain and providing ease and range of motion.

I'm currently walking around with a halting gait, and it's not very comfortable or friendly-looking...bride of Frankenstein is more my speed, apparently. Steve just started back on night shift tonight, so I'm back to being on my own with the kids half of the week again, not to mention during most days since he is now officially nocturnal again. I don't mind taking them places to play like the playground, since they are old enough to know how to behave (9 times out of 10), but I still worry that somehow this will affect them. I want to be healthy again, to be able to pick them up without fear that my back will scream in rebellion, to be able to sit on the floor and play with them without wincing in pain. I really think that they can sense that I'm not well, and the other day when I was lying on the couch trying to get comfortable, Megan brought me a blanket and covered me and kissed my forehead. I have angels for children (at least most of the time!).

Whoa...it's March...

Wow. I cannot believe how long it's been since I last posted! I would love to say that my life has just been filled to the brim with new and exciting events and activities, but the only thing new is whatever the kids are up to these days. I just do my best to keep up with them! :)

The kids turned two back in December, and two weeks later they promptly began identifying the letters of the alphabet. They don't know the alphabet in order from A to Z, but ask them what any specific letter is (seriously, it's like a game to them now) and they race to see who can yell it out first. It actually freaked me out a little, and then I got used to it. They have really picked it up from Sesame Street and Word World on PBS, so I can't even take credit for it. I guess I'm just amazed and thankful at the same time, since twins tend to be a little delayed on certain aspects of development...at least I know they shouldn't have much trouble with learning to read later on. It's funny though...Megan and I went to the doctor to check on a minor issue, and while we were waiting for the doc to come into the exam room, Megan was reading me the letters in a book (not the words, just the letters). The doc walks in and just gapes, mouth hanging. Very calmly, she turns and says, "How long has she been doing that?" She was even more shocked when I told her they were both doing it, and very clearly. Like I said...can't take the credit, but I sure am proud of them.

Megan has gotten very sure of herself, and sometimes the confidence she has borders on snottiness. She woke up from her nap yesterday and informed me, "Mommy, I would like Word World." I told her I was watching the news, and that we would watch it later (I record it on my DVR to keep it close at hand) and she smartly replied, "But MOMMY, I would LIKE Word World!" Sheesh. Jeremy does pretty well holding his own with her now, so I no longer worry that she is going to boss him around the house as much. He's a dancing fool...we took the kids to Sea World for Steve's birthday at the end of February, and in the lobby of our hotel there was a one-man music presentation, and Jeremy boogied in front of the stage, all by himself, for two whole songs before we dragged him away to give the poor musician his spotlight back. :)

Time for me to try to get to sleep. Take care and keep in touch!!!

Long Overdue...Time To Catch Up!

Wow, so it's been a while since I blogged...just checked and I haven't done this since right around Thanksgiving! Much has happened since then, but then again, would I expect different? The kids turned TWO, and I'm still in denial about that on some level. I'm grateful to see them growing and thriving and learning, but it's difficult because while they'll always be my "babies," they really aren't BABIES anymore.

I didn't realize that kids could learn letters and numbers so early...for the last two months, Megan and Jeremy have been counting to ten, pointing out numbers in the most random places, and identifying letters, too. We're still working on memorizing the alphabet song, but they can both pick up any block in their collection and tell me exactly what is on it. Jeremy has a partiality for "J", "U" and "8", while Megan changes her favorites on a daily basis. :) They also love it when you wear t-shirts or sweaters with letters and/or numbers on them, so that they can carry on a vibrant discussion with you...repeatedly...even when you really don't feel like talking about the subject. I wish I could take credit for a lot of it, but the truth is that I have Sesame Street to thank for most of it!

Getting ready for Christmas was a LOT of fun. They aren't scared of Santa at all, so I got my now-traditional annual photo of them with Santa at the Regency Mall in Jacksonville. It also turned out to be one of the few good photos I got of them in their pretty Christmas outfits, so it's definitely a keeper for memories ahead. :) The photo is posted above.

The weekend after their birthday (Dec. 13) we took the kids to see Sesame Street Live at the Times-Union Performing Arts Center. It was a great experience, and the seats we had were amazing...way down front, almost close enough for Megan to climb onstage and join the fun (thank goodness she didn't try).

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent with family and that was great...even better when I can wake up on Christmas morning at a late time, since they aren't old enough yet to understand the thrills that wait for them. We even had breakfast before the unwrapping of gifts began, so that was amazing in itself. 2008 will be completely different, I'm sure!

The kids and I welcomed the New Year together at home, as Steve was working. I felt bad, but turned down several offers from friends who wanted to come hang out with us...I just didn't want to risk them having to drive back home after midnight, when goodness knows how many inebriated people are running the roads at the same time. I wasn't at all alone, and that is what mattered. The kids didn't understand why they were up so late, but it was fun nonetheless. :)

I keep busy these days chasing after the little munchkins, writing occasionally for the local newspaper, and taking care of my still-new Pampered Chef business. It's going pretty well...I really enjoy the products and especially the recipes, since they make my life a little easier. I made a barbeque chicken pizza for dinner tonight, and it was yummy...but not as yummy as the fruit pizza I prepared for dessert! My friend Alyssa's birthday was last week, and so this was her celebration belatedly. We also had homemade strawberry lemonade, one of my personal favorites. I could drink a gallon of that stuff easily, all by myself. I think it's funny that part of my "business" is going to other people's houses and showing them how to prepare meals for their family, when in reality it's all I can do to get myself together in my own kitchen at home...but I will say that I have been a lot more creative and comfortable in the last couple of months since I started with Pampered Chef. It's not necessarily the tools that I get to use, either (although those do help)...it's more the fact that everything is simplified to prove to myself that I really CAN make nice meals without too much back-breaking effort. The greatest thing about the company is that I can have my own business, with my own hours and my own goals, and it gives me the flexibility to be at home with my family, where I'm happiest.

I will do my best to get back here and post again soon...take care!

Tired...but thankful

Wow, so it's 2:30 in the morning, and I have yet to get to bed. It's officially Thanksgiving day and I'll be even more thankful after some shut-eye! I just finished making my father-in-law his now traditional pumpkin roll, and I'm beat. I should have started it much earlier in the evening, but I had other things to take care of.
Pumpkin rolls are actually not too difficult to make, but it's the flipping it off the pan and onto a towel and then rolling it and keeping it in one piece that makes it just a bit challenging. I make this for the first time LAST Thanksgiving, and now I remember why I didn't offer to make it again for Christmas...it's an interestingly time-consuming process!
I love spending time in the kitchen, honestly I do. I love it even more when I get to sample whatever it is that I've made as the official taste-tester, but I did not sample this pumpkin roll. It's sitting in the fridge, chilling until tomorrow...er, today. Whatever!
Really quick, I just wanted to say that I am VERY thankful for my family, my friends, and for life in general. It seems like I've been so busy lately that I don't often take the chance to sit and think about just how lucky I am...I have a fantastic husband who understands me more than I understand myself half the time, two FABULOUS kids who are my world, and lots of family and friends who make life so very much worth living.
Must sleep now...take care and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

My Two Elmo's

So another Halloween has come and gone. Steve and I are very much worried that if we don't find a way to get rid of the bag of candy the kids collected on Wednesday evening, we just might eat it ALL ourselves. I am going to have a nice collection of cavities on my next dental visit, that's for sure. :)
The kids were SO cute in their costumes. They wore identical Elmo costumes, and I've already had someone mistake one for the other (despite the girl/boy difference!), so I'll warn you now...in the photos, Megan is holding her Ernie doll and smiling, and Jeremy is standing in front of the window in our living room grinning his head off. Hopefully that will help lower the confusion level...