Mixed Feelings

I signed my kids up for VPK today. There, I said it. I can't believe that they've turned four (shoot, I was still adjusting to having two three-year-olds...let me catch up!). On one hand, it's just an absolute delight to watch them grow and change and learn so many new things. They really have distinct personalities and it's so much fun to see them figure out just WHO they are.

But I want them to stay little. Just a while longer.

I know all moms probably say that at some point. But having twins means you have twice as many kids transitioning to the next stage at the same time. You don't really have a chance to stop, enjoy it, and then look forward to it with the next kid (or for some of my friends...the third, the fourth, etc.). And since these are the only two we (plan to) have (unless God has a seriously crazy sense of humor), this is the only chance I get to enjoy the steps they take.

Now, if you ask my husband, he just laughs and tells me I can always walk down memory lane. I've only taken a million photos of them in their first four years, so reliving the experience through the magic of pictures isn't too difficult!

You want to hear something even worse? For every ounce of me that is sad to see them growing up, there's another part of me that is celebrating the independence they are experiencing. I'm told it's a classic case of mother's guilt...you want your child(ren) to stay little forever, but at the same time you can't wait to watch them grow up. I want to see what kind of people they will be. And I'd also like to see what waits for me down the road now that I will have some extra time on my hands during the weekdays.

We have SO many steps and memorable moments ahead of us, but for some reason, knowing that they'll be starting VPK in August is like knowing that there's this wall ahead. And when we get to that wall, we'll climb over it into "big kid" land, and gone forever will be "baby world." We'll have homework, and field trips, and all kinds of activities and milestones. But part of me already misses the quiet snuggles and warm cuddles from the tiny little babies they started out as. I'm lucky because they still love to snuggle, so I think I'll take some comfort in knowing that won't ever change completely.

We aren't sure which school they'll be attending, since I'm told the school district won't allow confirmation of school selection until July, but I'll definitely be signing on as a volunteer for at least one day a week. I don't want to be a helicopter mom, but it will be nice to know that I can still spend so much time with them.

And my camera won't be far away, either. :)

Blessings

I was thinking the last couple weeks about what I want to do with my blog. I don't get the chance to blog as often as I'd like, so I want to change that this year. 2010 is the first year I haven't really made a New Year's Resolution for, so maybe my resolution will be to look for more blessings in my life...things that are everyday and ordinary, but mean a lot.

That being said, today I want to share about the blanket you see in the picture to the left. The weather has gotten pretty cold here lately, not common for Florida, but I LOVE it. We went through our closet and pulled out a couple of warmer blankets to add to the kids' beds, just to make sure they're warm enough at night while they sleep.

This blanket once hung in the window of a gift shop at a hospital in Jacksonville. Steve and I had gone through two fertility treatments that failed, and I was scheduled for an exploratory surgery to find out if there was a reason for the treatments to fail that had not been previously diagnosed. Steve had to work and couldn't take me to the hospital the day of the surgery, but my mom offered to drive me there and bring me home afterward, since it was an outpatient procedure.

The gift shop is located on the hospital's first floor, and you pass by it as you walk from the parking garage to the elevator bank. I remember (vaguely) passing by the window and seeing the blanket, and telling my mom that I really hoped we could figure out where to go from here with treatments so I would have a reason to need a baby blanket. At that point we'd been trying for almost 18 months, and I was caught somewhere between frustration and sadness. I went into the surgery and came through with flying colors, even though I was groggy and nauseated from the medicine they give you beforehand. Mom brought me home and I crawled into bed, where I basically spent two days recovering per the doctor's orders.

Fast forward a couple of months...we went through our first IVF procedure and found out that we were carrying not one but TWO babies. We were excited, nervous and just plain happy. God answers prayers. My mom brought me a bag and told me that she had planned on waiting until later in the pregnancy, but just couldn't wait anymore. Inside was this blanket...she had waited until my surgery began, and then she had gone back downstairs to the gift shop and bought the blanket that was hanging in the window. She knew that somehow, someway, we would be welcoming a baby into our family, and she wanted me to have that blanket since I had noticed it on my way into the surgery that day. It's been 4 1/2 years since she gave it to me, and I remember those days and weeks so vividly.

This blanket is a constant reminder of just how blessed we are, and how we should count those blessings all the time!

Merry Christmas!

I wish you and your families the most blessed of Christmases this year. We work so hard to not lose sight of the true reason for the season, the birth of our Lord and Savior. We set out our nativity scene each year and the kids are starting to really understand that we celebrate "Baby Jesus' birthday" at Christmas, and it's something we're very excited to teach them about.

One tradition we have also adopted has been to visit Santa at the same location each year. We take the kids to see Santa at the Regency Square Mall in Jacksonville, and I thought it would be fun to share the photos of them with him at age one, two, three and four (this year's photo). There was a visit from Santa at the hospital the day the kids were born, and I harrassed good ol' St. Nick into sitting in a chair in my hospital room and holding the kids for a pic, so while it's not the same Santa in the same location, it's their first official Santa photo ever. :)

December 2005 - only a few hours old!

December 2006 - One Year Old

December 2007 - Two Years Old

December 2008 - Three Years Old

December 2009 - Four Years Old

Giving Thanks

Another Thanksgiving has come and is almost gone already. It seems like time flies by even faster as the kids get older. Probably because I have to move so much faster to keep up with them these days!

We had lunch with my side of the family and dinner with Steve's side of the family. Steve had to work, but he was able to meet us at his parents' house about an hour after the kids and I got there. :)

I have to be proud of myself, because this month a friend challenged me through Facebook to write something I'm thankful for as my status update every day. I got the notice 18 days ago, and today was the 18th day I did it! I know we say constantly how blessed we are, but when you start challenging yourself to count ALL of the ways, you become even more amazed by all the blessings. So I thought I would copy my "thankful" notes into my blog so that I'll have a way to look back and remember them once in a while. Some of them are very small, others are very large, but it's not the size of the blessing that makes it so important...it's just the fact that it's a blessing at all.

One more note I should mention is that I didn't get to work on this for the whole month because I didn't receive the challenge until the second week of the month, so it's just from November 9th on. :)

Nov. 9 - Today I am thankful for two children who are 100% pure energy and sunlight, because it means they have their health...and that's a blessing.

Nov. 10 - Today I am thankful for my husband, who is my best friend. I am truly blessed to be in love with someone who understands me (and all of my quirks!), and my children are blessed to have a father who takes such wonderful care of them.

Nov. 11 - VETERAN'S DAY - Today I am thankful for our nation's veterans who have fought for the freedom we enjoy in America every single day. I salute my father, other relatives, friends and everyone else who have served in the past, as well as all those who currently serve and those who will serve in the future. God bless our veterans and the country they serve to protect.

Nov. 12 - Today I am thankful for the roof over our heads and the warm beds we sleep in each night, especially when the Florida temperatures (finally) begin to drop a little more at night.

Nov. 13 - Today I am thankful for Fridays, because even when you don't work a typical Monday-Friday job, Fridays are just so much more fun. :) I hope all of my family and friends have a WONDERFUL weekend!

Nov. 14 - Today I am thankful for the opportunities I have to work from home while staying home with my kids during their early years. I'm also thankful for the great people I get to meet as a result of these opportunities!

Nov. 15 - Today I am thankful for the love of God, who knows what even our smallest hopes are and takes care of us. We may not always understand why things happen (or why other things don't happen), but there are reasons for everything.

Nov. 16 - Today I am thankful for the opportunity to substitute teach from time to time, because there are those moments when you're working with the students and you can actually see that they're listening and learning from you (even when they're trying to be stubborn teenagers!). It makes me happy to know that I might make a glimmer of a difference somehow.

Nov. 17 - Today I am thankful for my friends! I grew up as part of a Navy family and we moved all over the map as a result, so I have friends from almost every station. I am blessed to have friends who know me and understand me (and also friends who may not understand me but accept and love me anyway). And I'm thankful for the long-ago friends I've reconnected with on FB because they are wonderful reminders of my younger years. I may not ever be a millionaire, but I'm rich in friendship and that's what counts!

Nov. 18 - Today I am thankful for my health. Even on days when I wake up with sinus trouble or a little twinge in my back that reminds me not to overdo, I know I am very lucky. I am also thankful for Steve's health and the health of our kids.

Nov. 19 - Today I am thankful for the simple things I sometimes take for granted. We have piles of laundry, but that means we have clothes to wear. We have a car payment, but that means we have a safe and reliable vehicle for our family to travel in. We have a stack of dishes in the sink, but that means we are lucky to be able to provide food for our family. We are blessed in so many ways!

Nov. 20 - Today I am thankful for my parents, because I know that they love and support me. My parents always let me know they were proud of me...they celebrated even the little milestones and reminded me that I could do so many things if I worked hard enough. I have many valuable lessons that I have learned from them, and I wouldn't be the person I am today without them!

Nov. 21 - Today I am thankful for my friend Cindy Sturgill...and she knows exactly why. :) [Cindy decided she was thankful for me that day, too...so we exchanged thankful posts!]

Nov. 22 - Today I am thankful for my brother Kris and his family, as well as my brothers- and sisters-in-law and their families, because having an extended family adds so much love to our lives! The kids are always so excited to see their aunts and uncles and cousins. :)

Nov. 23 - Today I am thankful for all the photos I've taken/had taken of the kids for the past four years. We're rapidly approaching their fourth birthday, and it's so nice to be able to walk down memory lane and remember them in their "smaller" days. :) Time flies when you're having fun...but each day is a miracle and we appreciate them all!

Nov. 24 - Today I am thankful for Steve being back on day shift for a couple of months! The kids and I love him so much, and we get to see much more of him during daylight hours now.

Nov. 25 - Today I am thankful for my children (again). Sometimes I just sit back and watch them play together, and I realize how lucky we are to have them, and how lucky they are to have each other.

Nov. 26 - THANKSGIVING DAY - Today I am thankful that I've had 17 other days to count my blessings, and I am reminded that I have SO much to be thankful for. I wish you and your families all the best the season has to offer...we are truly blessed, and we give thanks to God every day for everything!

Heaven's New Angel

I shared a story about baby VernaAnn in a post last week titled "Calling All Angels." An update to that story is available now at this link: http://artisticaccentsbydarla.blogspot.com/2009/11/birth-of-angel.html I know the story is sad, and one that we will never fully understand the purpose behind (because only HE can), but the family is strong and I know they can only benefit from our continued prayers.

At the prayer service for this sweet little girl, the pastor shared a story that a friend of mine so graciously shared with me. It is also now posted by the pastor on the blogosphere at this link: http://pastorsheets.blogspot.com/2009/11/heavenly-glimpse-at-life-of-vernaann.html?spref=fb

Happy Veterans Day!

Just a note to say that I hope everyone has a wonderful Veterans Day! I hope you get to spend time with your family. Read a newspaper. Talk to friends and family. Go out for a nice meal. See a movie. Go shopping. Whatever you do, have a GREAT day...and remember that you are able to do every single one of those things because you have the blessing of a living in a free country. :)

Please stop and say a prayer for each and every one of those who have served/is serving/will serve in our armed forces, past present and future...and thank them for the commitment they have made to keep us safe, secure and free. God bless America!!!

Calling All Angels

In the day-to-day life of parents, we sometimes forget to count our blessings and make the most of our miracles. My kids were definitely heaven-sent, even if they sometimes get loud and rambunctious. Today was one of those days where I needed a reminder of this fact, and I know I'm not alone when I say that I have moments where all I want is a nice quiet room to just relax in. Then I come home and catch up with some friends on Facebook and other sites, and I find a link to THIS blog: http://artisticaccentsbydarla.blogspot.com/2009/11/calling-all-angels.html

Please take some time to read this entry and say a special prayer for this family as they go through this journey together. If you're like me, you'll need some tissues. And if you're like me, you'll run to your kids and give them an extra hug, and thank God for the miracles they really are.